Overcome Negative Self-Talk: How to Rise Above Low Self-Esteem

How can you overcome low self-esteem and low self-worth? No one has an advantage here, they do not discriminate. Low self-esteem transcends race, religion, economic status and age. Too often this negativity seeps into other areas of life like relationships, health, work, achieving goals and emotional well-being. Life is too short! So let’s rise above low self-esteem together.

It’s no secret that there are many “10-step programs” to help rise above the depths of low self-esteem. One common denominator that I have found through research, forums and experience is this: people struggle when they don’t have a definitive sense of self. So we latch on to desires and acquiring things that come mainly from external influences. But those desires may not align with the person’s best self image in the most healthy way.

Specifically, people tend to attached self-esteem to the following traits:

  • Career
  • Economic Status
  • Weight
  • General Appearance
  • Number of Friends
  • Car
  • Academic achievements
  • Wearing the latest trends in fashion
  • Things, things, things…the list goes on and on

Overcome Low Self-Esteem – Now is Your Time

If you are overwhelmed with negative thoughts more and more frequently or you’ve been letting these feelings get in the way of living a healthy and happy life, there is no better time than now to do something about it.

Rise Above Low Self-EsteemAlways keep in mind that we all experience moments of low self-esteem and insecurity. You would not be human otherwise. Even the most well-adjusted, confident and successful people have times where they think they are not good enough.
So knowing the good news is that you are in good company, also know that there are some simple things that you can do to build yourself back up and rise above what is bringing you down.
  1. Get to know and identify the best version of yourself. Not who you aspire to be but the person you are when you are alone or when you are serving others
  2. Establish goals that align with the best version of yourself. They may be consciously written down and strategized,  long-term, short-term – completing a marathon, achieving a promotion at work -—- or unconscious – a secret wish of the heart – something subtle like improving your quality of life,  reducing stress, going on vacation, or seeing the ocean for the first time
  3. Visualize your success of a task or a goal that you have set for yourself – help this along by listening to upbeat music or even stand in a ‘power pose’ (channel your inner Wonder Woman or Super Man!)
  4. Fixed vs Growth Mindset: Trust in your ability to improve upon what is bringing you down. Especially if you’re looking for a long-term change consider the way you think about your abilities and talents (Do you believe you were born with them and they are limited? Or that any ability can be learned and developed?). Your beliefs matter because what you believe becomes your truth and has a monumental influence how you respond to setbacks. Studies show that people who have a growth mindset are more successful, earn higher grades in school and are more productive in the face of challenges.
  5. Know that Failure is Inevitable – so practice failure! Michael Jorden, JK Rowling, the Wright Brothers all experienced failure (multiple times) before finding great success. Studies show that those who fail regularly keep trying anyway and are better equipped to respond to challenges and setbacks in a constructive way. They learn how to try different strategies, ask others for advice and persevere. So, here’s how:
    1. Realize it’s not going to be easy
    2. Accept that you will make mistakes (call me the bad guy, you will make them)
    3. Be gentle, patient and kind to yourself in the wake of self-doubt and intrusive negative self-talk
    4. Knowing that whatever the result, you’ll have gained greater knowledge and understanding of your own abilities and perseverance. This self-awareness will equate to confidence.

Rising Above Low Self-Esteem to Achieve a Goal

Self-doubt is a tremendous factor on whether or not your dreams even stand a chance of becoming reality. Whenever thinking of transforming a desire into a reality, we first wonder to ourselves is the pot of gold at the end of my pursuit possible? Then begins the stream of negative inner chatter. Often the doubt, aka low self-esteem, manages to creep up. This is only you getting in your own way. So what prevents you from taking chances? Yes it’s you convincing yourself that failure is looming? Stop predicting and start preparing. The key is how you react, adapt and respond. Nothing will happen, failure nor success, until you start to take action.

It’s really important to look inward and support your own well-being through consciously exploring ways to create a positive mindset. There are a ton of inspirational books about self worth. Self help books for insecurity and low self esteem are powerful tools to empower you to take control and live your absolute best life.

Dr. Brené Brown, New York Times best seller and researcher and thought leader on vulnerability, courage, worthiness and shame – she’s a phenomenal self-help author and researcher with refreshing ideas on not the cliché here are five ways to improve your life…she writes about empowering the mind to RECOGNIZE and gain a greater self-awareness on the things that get in the way of improving one’s life, including low-self esteem. She’s real, she’s admittedly flawed, and she’s truly insightful.

Personally, Brown signed a permission slip within me to be imperfect and to view my imperfections as guideposts in finding my authentic self. I believe that the the pre-requistite to building an authentic sense of self and confidence to achieve goals is the knowledge that while we are all worthy of success and happiness, these are only achieved through hard work – hard work both out in the world and, more importantly, internally – that being spiritually, emotionally and physically.

A while back the poem below was spoken at my son‘s high school graduation. As the principal spoke these words, I gazed around the audience and quickly observed that the parents, et al. were more intensely engaged in this message than the students. Like myself, all these 40-something, and even 30-something and senior-citizen-something folks were probably taking some serious stock on their own lives.


FACE IT, nobody owes you a living.

What you achieve, or fail to achieve in your lifetime

Is directly related to what you do or fail to do.

No one chooses his parent or childhood,

But you can choose your own direction.

Everyone has problems and obstacles to overcome,

But that too is relative to each individual.


You can change anything in your life

If you want to badly enough.

Excuses are for losers! Those who take responsibility for their actions

Are the real winners in life.

Winners meet life challenges head on

Knowing there are no guarantees, and give it all they’ve got

And never think it’s too late or too early to begin.

Time plays no favorites

And will pass whether you act or not

Take control of your LIFE

Dare to Dream and take risks…….


If you aren’t willing to work for your goals

Don’t expect others to.


One Comment

  1. Hello. Overcoming that negative talk inside my head has been a problem all of my life. Helpful and inspiring blog. Thanks so much.

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